As I sit here, my skin an inflamed vessel of intolerable erotic aliveness, as it always is when I write. Eros is linked to fire as is inflammation. Various organs of my body have been afflicted with an inflammatory response. At the same time, dreams of conflagration have occurred, as well as dreams of torture, suffering, and torment.
This harrowing experience belongs to a long sequence of—I struggle to name them—moments in my life, some lasting for hours, others for weeks or months. They all share a structural similarity: While being afflicted with extreme physical symptoms, I endured equally distressing assaults in the form of images. In the quote above for example I mention dreams of conflagration etc. accompanying my inflammatory symptoms. These imagistic “assaults” were equally real in their visceral quality to that of the publicly observable condition of my skin eruptions. I have worked for years, attempting to find language that could express, or disclose this visceral reality, while avoiding slipping into the habitual logic of inner/outer (e.g. the symptom/symbol pair of opposites i.e., physical/mental split). I had to seek far and wide to find others whose intellectual or initiatory efforts could enrich my own engagement…
RADICAL MATERIALISM & Dream Work for the 21st Century
Frank Auerbach
